Hall of Fame

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By Unknown
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"No sir, go to the start menu. It's the little Windows icon in the bottom of the screen... no, sir, it keeps disappearing because you're double-clicking."

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By Unknown
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Because apples are delicious and nutritious, neither of which are qualities of which the iPad or a rock can boast.

Woo, look at me, being all fancy and not leaving my prepositions at the end of sentences. I should be shamed off the internet.

~OLJ

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That's what SHE said, amirite? Amirite?

holds hand up for high-five, is left hanging

~OLJ

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By Unknown
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Let's say you spend ten minutes a day on the pot at work. Five out of seven days a week are work days, which makes 260 days a year. Subtract two weeks (ten work days) for paid vacation and throw in some more off days for holidays, and you end up with around 240 work days left over. Based on this, if you work at a job for 10 years at the median American personal hourly income of $16.57 an hour (source: U.S. Department of Labor) working a typical eight hour day, that adds up to $132.56. Based on our ten-minute average (or 1/48 of a work day), that's $2.76 earned for every poop session. Multiply that by the work days in a year, and the years in a career, and voila:

You would earn $3,314.00 in a five-year career while pooping. You would earn $6,629.00 in a ten-year career while pooping. You would earn $13,255.00 in a 20-year career while pooping. You would earn $26,512.00 in a 40-year career while pooping.

If you saved these earnings over a 40-year time frame with tax exemption as long as the funds aren't withdrawn, based on today's mutual fund NAVs, your savings would total just shy of $103,000.

That's enough to cover the median sales price of houses in six states.

Time for a bathroom break!

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I remember when Gmail sent me a notification about ads a couple months ago. It said something like "we're working to get you better, more high-quality ads." I just thought "Okay? I don't really care?"

~OLJ

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