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Desperate Idiot Defends Cheating on Girlfriend Cause "He Had to Save World From Cancer"

As far as being an idiot who is unbelievably de-attached from reality and the way the world works, and I don't know general human decency.....this dude with an unreal knack for not being able to text like a mouth-breathing manchild, successfully crowned himself king of stupidity. If you can make it past the ridiculous abbreviations and misspellings in his actual texts, you'll be quick to see this is nothing short of an epic attempt at validating blatant cheating. I guess you could say he gets an A+ for thinking outside the box though. All in all, Bella really dodged a bullet on this one. 

Desperate idiot defends cheating on his girlfriend with elaborate texts about how he had to save the world from cancer.
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christianity family value Hall of Fame vacuuming wholesome wife womans-rights - 5536391424
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Glorify God with your vagina! Christian marriage blog To Love, Honor, and Vacuum (ED - Oxford comma added) has tips on all facets of marriage and intimacy, all from a Good Christian Perspective. They address a number of questions one might have, but our favorites are:

  1. Is it okay for Christians to use sex toys? Answer: Nope. "Most guys aren't that big. And they can't vibrate like that. Do you really want to get reliant on something your husband can never be for an orgasm?

  2. What's a godly form of birth control? Answer: forget condoms, just watch the calendar, you'll be fine (Edit - no you won't).

  3. What should I do if my husband wants to be adventurous in bed? Answer: it's fine, but be careful! Getting adventurous could enable his porn addiction! (Edit - ...what?)

  4. What to do if I'm too loose to have sex? Answer: Kegel exercises! Just be careful not to accidentally buy sex toys when you shop for kegel exercisers online! (Edit - ಠ_ಠ )

  5. What if my husband wants sex way more than I do? Answer: Joyfully and obediently give it to him whenever he wants it! (Edit - facepalm.jpg)