Send in a cover letter describing your qualifications for the position. Be sure to include your prior history of nerdiness, weakness, unpopularity at school, and how you intend to abuse an excess of imagined internet power.

I'll bet you didn't know I modeled! ~OLJ

Poor Amanda Carpenter lived through a truelife nightmare when she got stuck in an elevator...seven months ago. In a desperate attempt to be rescued, Carpenter (former Communication Director for Sen. Ted Cruz) tweeted to her 90,000 plus followers asking for help. 


It only gets worse...



Annd then we get the golden response...just a tad bit too late to make a difference. Good lookin out Amtrak...



We can only imagine what Carpenter was actually thinking, but her tweet does a decent enough job at appearing, well, thankful?



Amtrak tried to make amends, nonetheless:



It's too late though. The internet's already well aware of all this madness...