Did you have a stroke? SHOULD I CALL AN AMBULANCE?

From the submitter:

This guy texted 9 girls at one time...not realizing they can all see it.

Well? Sometimes if I try really hard I can think of nine people at once. LET'S SEE WHAT HE WANTS BEFORE WE JUDGE HIM.

Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering nyan-whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.

The shieldmaiden of Rohan takes issue with a certain Witch-King of chauvinism.

DRAW.

This is why wrong numbers are the best things ever.

The lady's emoji face should have less smile and a more lonely, lonely tears.