300 auto correct autocorrect balls kicked licked sparta this is sparta - 5481489408
By Unknown
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I'd actually be more impressed if he said "This is Spartaaaaaaaaa" while licking someone's balls. It'd probably sound something more like "Thith ith Thpartaaaaaaaaflgngh"

dropped dumb gullible idiot lost lost phone - 5751340288
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How do you lose something after you drop it? Did it flex into a tube shape and roll under the couch? Did it sprout legs and run away?

emergency health heart attack siri unhelpful - 5312206848
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Whenever someone's having a heart attack, the first thing to do is hold an engrossing conversation with them. Act intensely interested in everything they say, because they're likely doing it for attention.

JUST KIDDING KIDS DON'T DO THIS CALL 911

hawkeye loki mind controlled minions The Avengers - 6372541184
By Unknown
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Listen, if you mind control a highly-trained government assassin, you can't expect him to be well-versed in animal care.