(I read my mother a messed up text where a kid's phone said that they 'blew' their teacher instead of 'drew' him.)
Me: I'm positive that there were kids I went to high school that were doing something other than homework to get better grades.
Mom: I never did that. For one, I refuse to compromise my morals and for another, I don't like that.
Mom: You probably didn't want to hear that, did you?
Me: No, not really.
Mom: I wonder what I can get your Dad for Christmas.
Me(being silly): Your Mother!
Mom: He doesn't want THAT.
Mom: Don't sleep with anyone.
Me: I know, I know.
Mom: No, I'm serious, they don't look that good naked. God didn't do a very good job when he put them together.
(My mom was talking to her self at the store)
Me: Mom who are you talking too?
Mom: Myself, I have to talk louder than the voices in my head.
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