Hardware whizzing: sometimes it's less about MacGyver skills and more about your bank account.
Then again, I know some coworkers that manage to botch the coffee pot pretty poorly. This might explain it...
He should tell the guy to delete System32 to make his computer go faster.
I'll bet he let it slide and pretended his name was "Speaking." That's what I would've done. #awkward
It isn't the waitstaff's only job to serve you. They're also interpreters that can skillfully translate a wide variety of awkward-speak.