[blockquote]"The old and creaky Coffee pot leaked its last leak on the plywood stand. In it's place we got a sleek new model that has an automatic brew. The funeral was held on a Wednesday in the afternoon. The mourners gathered to share in their greif. Mr. Coffee senior had no living relatives and got awarded with the medal of 'I've lived for too long'"[/blockquote]
Bonus points for first sign I've seen around here without extraneous apostrophes! Fail points for having enough coffee spillage to warrant a lid lecture, and for using paper cups when reusable ones are provided.