From the submitter:
I had a newborn calf break a leg after getting hung up in a ravine. The vet told me how to splint the leg with PVC pipe and duct tape.
The electrical wiring popped from the refuelling boom of your new Airbus A400M? Use some tape to stick it where it belongs! Just like the pros do!
See? This is why I only drive gray cars. Easy color matching!
"Sir, regular duct tape wasn't working, sir!"
"... Send in Big Bertha... God help us all..."
Because duct tape is stronger than stone...