OCD in the retirement home can be a serious problem.
If I had the choice to make one public service announcement, it would be warning people against microwaving leftover pizza. "Crispy Crust or Bust!" I'm still working on the slogan.
In this day and age, who can spring to buy a pack of $1.99 laces?
This is a much more important use for a parachute rip-cord.
I'm sorry, the operation didn't go as planned. We just couldn't find the clamps.