From the submitter:
We smooched twice, in July...
That must have been a whopper of a smooch. A smooch to end all smooches.
He should have stuck with 911. They're very friendly over there.
If winky faces are the trollops of smiley face land, then (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻) are the oppressed cubicle workers with short tempers.
I wish I knew how to quit you, bro.