It's like a white-collar Jean Valjean who has a job, but is still so poor that he has to steal energy bars in order to feed his family. He is hunted down relentlessly by coworker Javert.
~Office Lackey Jack
It's like an office version of Ghostwriter, but evil.
And if you can't file it as a dependency, maybe you can count poor, starving co-workers as tax-deductible charities. #financejokesaresomuchfun