That's Right, Conceal Your Identity

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That's Right, Conceal Your Identity
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Meanwhile, that bro over there is putting himself out there loud and proud.

The First Day of Summer is the Worst

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The First Day of Summer is the Worst
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Don't worry, in a few scant hours you'll be molting away like all the other pale kids.

Please Say That's Spray-Tan

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Please Say That's Spray-Tan
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Wait, no, that doesn't make sense. OH GOD WHAT AM I LOOKING AT.

This is The Cost You Pay for Crocs!

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This is The Cost You Pay for Crocs!
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In some cultures, the sudden onset of wound-like patterns on the skin of the top of the feet is called "Croc-mata."

Good Game of Basketball, I Assume?

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Good Game of Basketball, I Assume?
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Using an intense mathematical algorithm, we can now determine your shirt size using only the ratios available to us in your burned and un-burned skin!

Regular and Barbecue

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Regular and Barbecue
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"Extra Crispy" is the one holding the camera, for the record.