(I just met my new step-brother 2 hours ago at my dad's house. We're both mid 20's adults. Dad and step-mom leaving to go to the store.)
Dad: Okay, we're leaving now.
Me: Alright, see you in a bit.
Dad: (Looks at me and step-brother) No having sex with each other.
Me: Oh my God, dad! Go!
Social media at its best and worst on Failbook!
(When talking to my mom about my absent father.)
Mom: You know the difference between you and me?
Mom: My daddy loved me.
Mom: *laughing hysterically*
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