From a recent Dallas-Los Angeles Major League Soccer match.

Look, we know she's 11, and we also know that people who pick on children online are contemptible bullies with major insecurities about their sexual organs, etc. etc. But a performance this egregious can be a learning opportunity not only for whoever billed her to open the game, but also for her, that she's not (and shouldn't want to be) Christina Aguilera.

Contrary to every reasonable expectation of the entertainment value of oral hygiene, the Oregon Dental Association made a ridiculously entertaining PSA by remaking "Teach Me How to Dougie" into a teeth-brushing instructional video.

An eight-year-old can play along with "Stratosphere" by Swedish Finnish power metal band Stratovarius and you can't? What are you doing with your life?

This is Jaxon Smith. He is six years old! He's already committed a significant amount of his young life to the drums, and can already accompany the Foo Fighters track "Pretender."