When signing your daughter into your work computer because she doesn't know the password, it doesn't matter how hard you actually press "Login." Your laptop is not an iPad, it won't work unless you use the mouse. Firmly pressing on the screen with your thumb WILL result in tiny cracks in the middle of the screen and both your daughters who witnessed this WILL tell anyone and everyone who'll listen. #LFMMother'sF
Good idea: Keeping baby wipes handy in the bathroom. Also a good idea: Keeping disinfecting cleaning wipes handy in the bathroom. Potentially disasterious idea: Not making absolutely certain you've grabbed the right one when you go to wipe your butt. #LFMF
Good idea: Learn to make Hummus.
Not as good idea: Eat nothing but hummus and bread for 2 meals.
Very bad idea: Do so when your digestive system is having issues already.
painful hour long atomic garlic fart sessions at 3am are no fun. #LFMF
Remember those Hostess snowballs you bought and then promptly hid because you went on a diet? Well, finding them 2 months later and thinking "These never go bad, right?" will leave your office mate in hysterics after you become violently ill. #lfmf
Good idea: Thoroughly disinfecting the bathroom after your cat has an accident (or 3)
Ok idea: uUoom.
Crap idea: Using diluted bleach to clean the bathroom when you are extremely sensitive to ammonia. #LFMmigraineF
You may be the biggest Doctor Who fan ever, but never watch the episode "Blink" right before you go to bed. Especially if you have a cat. #LFMF
Great Idea- Taking yourself and newlywed wife to a beach for a honeymoon.
Good Idea- Shaving face, back, shoulders and "down bellow" area (for sexytimes).
Another Good Idea- Going to the beach for a swim.
Terrible Idea- Going to the beach right after shaving. Your body will feel as if it were engulfed in the flames of Oblivion. #LFMF
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