There's a Serial Car Pooper in Akron, Anybody Have Any Leads?

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The Akron, Ohio Police Department is in a desperate search to find this car-ty pooper. Apparently he's left his gifts inside or on top of 19 different vehicles, occasionally even opening unlocked vehicles in order to do so.

Truly, we live in benighted times.

Jurassic Park is in Florida, if This Huge Roaming Gator is Any Indication

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This prehistoric beast was found tromping around a golf course in Florida, perfectly content with chilling out in the open. Anybody know where Chris Pratt is so he can wrangle this thing?

Here are some more images of the beast from the Myakka Pines Golf Course:



Oh hey, how did this get here...

A Trio of Teens Thought They Scored Some Coke, They Found Out the Wrong Way it Was Ashes

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From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance.