A Trio of Teens Thought They Scored Some Coke, They Found Out the Wrong Way it Was Ashes

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From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance. 

Surprise of the Day: Real Hamburglar Pays a Visit to Viral Hamburglar News Anchor

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Congratulations Internet, you made this happen.

A Fox 2 news anchor in St. Louis named April Simpson became a viral sensation last week thanks to a video which showed her glaring her co-host Tim Ezell after he called her the “Hamburglar” on air.

Comedian Kevin Hart also posted the original clip to Facebook getting it lots of attention online.

The network then decided to play a little prank on April Monday morning, by having the actual Hamburglar appear on set to rub some fry salt in her wounds.

The crew also proceeds to throw hamburgers at her while she sits at her desk in disgust.

“Here’s my thing,” she says. “There are several people who are no longer my friends.”

She points to everyone in the room who participated in the stunt and says that she doesn’t even want to do the news anymore.

But it looks like she got over it, according to Twitter.

Politics of the Day: Don Young Jokes That Wolves Would Fix Homeless Problem

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Rep. Don Young of Alaska certainly has problems, but wolves aren’t one of them.

At a House Natural Resources Committee hearing this week, Young was complaining about how members of Congress were rallying together to help protect the gray wolf, when they don’t have to deal with them on a regular basis like he does.

“How many of you have got wolves in your district?” he asked. “None. None. Not one.”

And then, likely due to a full moon, he offered up this completely insane proposal.

“I’d like to introduce them to your district,” he said. “You wouldn’t have a homeless problem anymore.”

A spokesperson for Young later clarified to the Washington Post that the “analogy was purposely hyperbolic to stress the point that these predators pose serious threats to wildlife management and their listing has damaging impacts to local communities.”

Alaska has “the largest remaining population of gray wolves in the United States,” according to Defenders of Wildlife.

One Kid Got Booted Back Home After Dressing Up as Christian Grey for a School Celebration

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The 11-year-old boy from Manchester, Enbland carried around zip ties and a sleep mask after the students were asked to dress as a fictionarl character for World Book Day. Allegedly, the whole thing was his idea. The school, however didn't think it was so funny and sent him home for the day.