A 12-Year-Old Colorado Girl Was Arrested for Attempting to Poison Her Mother Over iPhone Privileges, Because #KidsTheseDays

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Allegedly the girl hatched a revenge plot to murder her mother after her iPhone was taken away. That sentence is a real event and not something we pulled from a psychology case study on sociopathy.

Boulder County police arrested the tween after her mother reported her for the second poisoning incident. The first, when the child poured bleach into her mother's smoothie, which mom was able to detect by smell (and here we thought it was the pricepoint of a Vitamix that would kill you ZING).

Then she tried the same stunt with a carafe of water that her mother kept in her bedroom. This is probably the ballsiest move in the entire story, because seriously who tries the same matricidal nonsense twice? That's just poor form, Olivia (in the story I am assuming the child's name is Olivia because they're all named Olivia, run with me here).

To conclude, anothercase of tween barbarism solved by the power of a mom who won't take any nonsnse... and maybe a little help from Mr. Yuck.

Darth Vader Pulls Off a North Carolina Bank Robbery, Gets Drunk at a Hockey Game in One Week

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That's a man in a Darth Vader mask successfully getting away with a bank robbery in Pineville, NC last Monday. Luckily no one was injured in the event. Meanwhile, Star Wars Night at the AHL Manchester Monarchs game featured a Vader who was clearly none too experienced with walking on ice. 



Or maybe just failing to force choke members of the away team. Such is the mystery of the game.

WTF of the Day: Woman Hijacks Handicapped Parking Spot, Leaves Nasty Note for Amputee

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An hateful Ohio woman with terrible grammar has incurred the wrath of the Internet with her rude response to a disabled woman.

Ashley Brady lost her leg in 2014 in an accident, and she now uses a prosthetic one to help her walk.

She was given a designated handicapped parking spot at her apartment complex this month so it would be easier for her to get to her car, but another woman who was not handicapped started parking there instead.

Brady left a letter on the woman’s car complaining that she was in her spot and that she would be towed if she did it again. The woman replied with another note which has since gone viral, because she is the absolutely the worst.

The Amputee Coalition of America posted her note to their Facebook page which you can view below.

The messages reads:

Hey handicap! First, never place your hands on my car again! Second, honey you ain’t the only one with “struggles.” You want pity go to a one leg support group! You messed with the wrong one! I don’t care what your note said shove it, but you touch my car again I will file a report, I am not playing! I let the office know the cry baby one leg touches my property I will cause trouble so go cry your struggles to someone who cares cause I’m walking away with both mine!

“I read it probably like five times, over and over, because my brain just couldn’t even process the level of mean that it was,” Brady said.

Since posting the letter, she’s received lots of support from strangers on Facebook.