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Via: Uproxx
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Mike Rowe needs you to hear him loud, and hear him clear, when he tells you he's not robbing banks.

The former 'Dirty Jobs' Host and 'Deadliest Catch' narrator's under a great deal of scrutiny after an image of what appears as Mike Rowe from a frickin parallel universe, holding up a bank, surfaced. The resemblance is uncanny, in every sense of the word.

The rumors went viral after various folks across Facebook joked that this was a maddened, wild ploy by Rowe to kickstart a new season of 'Dirty Jobs.'

Rowe was quick to the punch and fought to quell the fast uprising of these rumors by releasing an alibi on his Facebook page: "For what it's worth, I was in Kansas Monday, and can prove it, if need be."

Rowe went on to bury himself in a bit of a hole by offering up something of an outlandish theory, "what if the thief was not an idiot, but a clever person of below average height wearing a Mike Rowe Mask?"

Alright. Will the real Mike Rowe please stand up?

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Via: BroBible
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During an NFL pregame show on WUSA-TV in Washington, DC, Manley employed dumbed-down, reckless judgment on par with a Buffalo Bills tailgater who thought it'd be chill to jump onto a flaming table today.

Manley was speculating on Cam Newton, who might be selected as the first black quarterback ever named NFL MVP. Newton's had 626 rushing yards this season, which is in every sense of the word, 'madness.'

You can pretty much see Manley's co-host bow his head, and die on the spot. Like, wow man.

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Via: Uproxx
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You're not doing it right dude. Kudos to Buffalo Bills fans though for helping this beer-soaked idiot out.

Buffalo Bills fans this year have been ranked as the NFL's drunkest fans; and it seems like they're hellbent on one-upping the prior game's hysterical, purely irrational antics.

From this gnarly RKO awhile ago:

To this absolute depraved act of moonsaulting debauchery:

Stay safe out there Buffalo Bills fans!

Via: CNN
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You'll remember Ethan Couch was convicted of four counts of intoxication manslaughter, but was not sentenced to any jail time. Instead, he was given 10 years' probation. Couch's defense team, which included psychologist Dr. G. Dick Miller, argued that the teen suffered from "affluenza," meaning his irresponsible behavior and lifestyle were a product of his affluent upbringing and "profoundly dysfunctional" parents.

Part of his parole mandates that he regularly checks in with his parole officer and that he not drink alcohol for 10 years. The latter is being investigated now thanks to a snapchat of Ethan playing beer pong at a house party in Texas.





Couch and his mother were picked up in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on Monday, reports a spokesman for the Jalisco state prosecutor's office. After both underwent a medical checkup, they were transferred to immigration authorities and will be returning to the U.S. "shortly."



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Via: ABC News
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The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

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