"Kill it With Fire" is Just an Expression: A Seattle Man Caused $60,000 in Damages Trying to Kill a Spider With Spray Paint and a Lighter

Favorite
"Kill it With Fire" is Just an Expression: A Seattle Man Caused $60,000 in Damages Trying to Kill a Spider With Spray Paint and a Lighter
- -

It seems like only two weeks ago a Kansas woman set her home on fire trying to deal with the ever-present spider menace. Well, the same thing has just happened with a Seattle man. From Komo News:

A man who lived at the home told fire officials he was trying to kill a spider in his laundry room using a can of spray paint and a lighter when the wall caught fire, according to Kyle Moore with the Seattle Fire Department. The man wasn't able to put the fire out himself, and he left the home when it began to spread.

Somewhere out there is a spider with burn wounds and a taste for vengeance. Congratulations, Seattle man, you've created the first spider super villain.

A Correspondent From UK Agency Sky News Swallowed a Fly on the Air

Favorite
- -

And here's what the poor guy looked like trying to report while it all happened:

Try Not to Wince: This Woman Was Stashing Foil-Wrapped Drugs in Her Other... Other Pocket

Favorite
Try Not to Wince: This Woman Was Stashing Foil-Wrapped Drugs in Her Other... Other Pocket
- -

From Jezebel:

"I have drugs inside my v@gina," Crosby uttered spontaneously and then, when she was asked to remove them, she said "ouch." Again, that sounds really painful. The officer asked if she was okay and Crosby said "the foil is hurting the inside of my v@gina" before producing a foil-wrapped rock of crack c0caine which she had just been paid $100 for.

Latin American Paper Publimetro Just Committed the Worst Ad Placement Crime in Recent Memory

Favorite
Latin American Paper Publimetro Just Committed the Worst Ad Placement Crime in Recent Memory
- -

No, that is not a cynically-crafted Photoshop job. You can see the whole thing right here.

Publimetro is the Latin American branch of the Swedish Metro media company (no relation to UK's Metro). What you're looking at here is indeed their coverage of the escalating conflict on the Gaza strip plastered with a full-page ad for the newest Transformers movie. Perhaps Publimetro has the scoop on Israel's "Iron Dome" defense system (ACTUALLY AN AUTOBOT, PERHAPS IRONHIDE) or maybe it's some kind of ironic commentary on the commoditization of war... or maybe it's just a sad statement about the struggles of print media in a digital age.

Point is, let's never mix real life-threatening missiles and Michael Bay missiles ever again, shall we?

For the record, the cover story of this issue is about the World Cup. Of course: