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14 Depraved UrbanDictionary Sex Moves That We Absolutely Hope No One Has Ever Attempted

In all fairness here, these moves are hailing from the deep and notoriously darker depths of the creatively twisted Urban Dictionary. That said, I was still genuinely reeling in shock over the emotional and/or physical pain implied in these sex moves. Let's just say the descriptions alone didn't fail to set a new high (low) for what I thought possible as far as sexual experimentation goes. 

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Dude on Twitter Live-Tweets Hilarious Breakdown on the Perils of An Orgy

The consistently comedically gifted WeNotSucks hopped on Twitter yesterday to run a relatable analysis on the ups and downs of an orgy. His thought-stirring stream of tweets actually managed to spotlight the likely concerns of any sexual deviants out there considering giving the group sex thing a run. Initially, you'd kind of assume any thirsty man out there would jump at the chance of uninhibited group sex, but the further you get into this dude's thought process, the less that seems true!

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Isn't there a character on Jersey Shore who compares herself to a praying mantis? The guys who date her probably have the same reaction, except they add "time to GTL" at the end, interspersed with grunts of "bro" and "brah."

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Couple Having Loud Sex Brings Florida Tennis Match to Screeching Halt In Hilarious Interruption

Is this the most Florida thing to ever happen to a sporting event over there or what? All we needed to better the crude situation was a crocodile or two waddling across the court. 

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