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He recognized the spambot almost immediately, but didn't stop there. What follows next is some of the most emo poetry you will ever read. It's a shame the spambot only cares about getting naked because this dude would have totally become a tree for his new friend.

"We will grow a forest from our new bodies." "Help me rot into the earth."

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By Unknown
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Public transportation provides an invaluable service to any metropolitan area, and you should ALWAYS RESPECT THEIR RIGHT OF WAY, EVEN IF YOU'RE BUMPING UGLIES ON THE CONCRETE. #PSAs

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If they ever made a sequel to "What Women Want" and called it "What Men Want," it would be about five minutes long and very predictable.

...and judging by "Brittney B-ball's" profile pic, she's known exactly what men want for some time now.

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