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Dude Fails Terribly, Learns the Hard Way Sex Toys Are Definitely Better Not Left Out

In the realm of cringe-inducing fails this guy just skyrocketed to the top of the totem pole. Maybe he was in a hurry to get outta there, either way the neglect cost him big time. Hard to imagine he'll be getting invited back to crash again anytime soon. Here's to hoping the kid goes on having no idea what she was rocking in the way of her jewelry upgrade. 

FAIL Awkward sex toys dating - 1878277
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Sorry Soul Finds Out Wife's Been Cheating On Him For Two Years In Worst, Most Brutal Way Imaginable

I didn't even write that with the intention of it being clickbaitish whatsoever, dude. Honestly, this saddening saga is violently brutal. Unreal. For sure got a literal clench in my gut as the story worked up to the devastating ending when yes, he discovers his wife was impregnated by Darrel, some engaged dude. Oh, a quick by the way, but she couldn't even spell that guy's name right. Read at your own peril, cause this shit might color you seven kinds of enraged.

Sad FAIL wife true story cheating brutal heartbreaking dating - 1413381
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Via: Mirror
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In what universe did this guy Alex see this panning out in his favor? What we know is the dude got a fat vampiric hickey, and snapchatted his significant other, saying: 

"I told my dad yesterday I was gunna see you today and he thought it would be funny to jump on me to wake me up and he gave me a hickey (sic).

"I was like really! This b**** is huge!!! My mom said I look like white trash."

With this picture: