I Whisper That to Every Car, Just in Case

Favorite
drunk,last night,optimus prime,transformers
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Occasionally I'll pick up a stick and whisper "Wingardium Leviosa" to myself before putting it back down disappointedly.

Time to Hire a Go-Between

Favorite
complicated,drinking,drunk,drunk text,fat fingers,hard,martinis,old,translator
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Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

I Need to Re-Train Auto Correct

Favorite
drubk,drunk,drunk texting,facebook
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It also auto corrects "so" to "sooooooo" and "wasted" to "umbrghflao."