Time to Hire a Go-Between

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Time to Hire a Go-Between
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Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

But Seriously, That Game Sucks

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But Seriously, That Game Sucks
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Some days I feel like taking after Misses Edna Prooster and taking a baton to you Farmville-requesting asses.

Little White Lies

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Little White Lies
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Be careful of too much drunk texting! Otherwise people will expect too much attention from you and they'll start getting needy.

I Whisper That to Every Car, Just in Case

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I Whisper That to Every Car, Just in Case
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Occasionally I'll pick up a stick and whisper "Wingardium Leviosa" to myself before putting it back down disappointedly.