I Will Take This Dump in Honor of a Good Friend

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I Will Take This Dump in Honor of a Good Friend
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The question is, if she's out celebrating, where's Joey? Sitting at home alone while he reads happy birthday texts from people who are partying without him? Diff'rent strokes, I guess.

Little White Lies

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Little White Lies
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Be careful of too much drunk texting! Otherwise people will expect too much attention from you and they'll start getting needy.

Now You Know My Secret Superhero Identity

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Now You Know My Secret Superhero Identity
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Just because he's drunk doesn't make his confession any less meaningful!