If you talk to your phone when you're drunk, does it translate your slurred words into drunk texts?

I don't have any opposable thumbs. Or hands. Don't be ridiculous.

Are you sure you meant to say "complicated?" Are you sure you didn't mean to say "Oh god. So drunk right now. Why did I have so many martinis whyyyyyyy?"

This isn't the most incomprehensible text we've had, but in case you need a bit of help for the "3 get in front of my gave," he's saying "I have obtained three items, the identity of which i choose not to disclose to you, via a front-end transaction and I gave said items away soon after said transaction."