Wrong Number Fillet

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Wrong Number Fillet
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Johanaaaaaa doesn't want to hear about the music playing at a bar she isn't in anyway.

The Boundless Patience of Not-Drew

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The Boundless Patience of Not-Drew
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From the submitter:

Maybe I should have told them I was Optimus Prime....

Always Assume That Strangers Are Child Molesters

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Always Assume That Strangers Are Child Molesters
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Whenever anyone says "it's me" via text, you can safely assume that he or she is over the age of 50 and has been texting for fewer than one year.