Pick it Up! Beer Consumption Is Down in the US

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A Florida Man Known as "Fat Boy" Hides His Drug Stash in Exactly the Place a Guy Called "Fat Boy" Would

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A Florida Man Known as "Fat Boy" Hides His Drug Stash in Exactly the Place a Guy Called "Fat Boy" Would
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If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:

The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.

Woman in Iowa Downed 2 Bottles of Black Velvet Whiskey

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Woman in Iowa Downed 2 Bottles of Black Velvet Whiskey
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When police arrived Hunley was covered in urine and she had "slurred speech, poor balance" and was "leaning against a car to keep her balance." Hunley told police she had drank two bottles of Black Velvet whiskey and urinated on herself for a second time after being taken into custody.

The blood alcohol content of .439 that Hunley allegedly posted during this incident was actually lower than the .462 she allegedly registered during an August incident that was detailed by the Gazette.

New York Times Columnist Maureen Dowd Writes About Getting High in Colorado, Twitter Responds Hilariously

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New York Times Columnist Maureen Dowd Writes About Getting High in Colorado, Twitter Responds Hilariously
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Pulitzer Prize winner Maureen Dowd follows a growing trend among traditional print journalists writing about modern drug culture. In this case, it's legally-recognized marijuana in Colorado. Here's the story in question with some great responses below:





Drunk Man Has Sex With ATM

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Drunk Man Has Sex With ATM
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MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A man was arrested at a Murfreesboro bar Friday night for attempting to have sex with an ATM and later a picnic table.

According to the arrest report, Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill on Greenland Drive and up to the ATM.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM, the report stated.