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drinking dispatches,found drunk,monkeys,news,partially nude,Party
Via: ABC 6
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It's not a real party until at least two wild animals are sharing in the experience. Opposable thumbs are encouraged but not required.

ATM,drunk,sexy times,funny,news
Via: WKRN
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MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A man was arrested at a Murfreesboro bar Friday night for attempting to have sex with an ATM and later a picnic table.

According to the arrest report, Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill on Greenland Drive and up to the ATM.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM, the report stated.
beer,news,michigan,laws,funny
By Unknown
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The federal government might be shut down but Michigan lawmakers are hard at work protecting our right to a good value. Rep. David Knezek (D-Dearborn Heights) and Rep. Brandon Dillon (D-Grand Rapids) have written a proposal to amend the state Liquor Control Act to make sure that when a pint of beer is offered at a bar or restaurant, customers are getting an "honest pint."
drinking spring break news Spring Break is Ruined! Panama City Beach Bans Alcohol
Via: AL.com
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Maybe spring break isn't totally ruined but Panama City Beach City Council has just voted to ban alcohol consumption during the month of March in 2016. That does put a damper on one of the most popular activities of the college spring break season. Those in favor of the ban argue that the money brought in by spring breakers does not outweight the the overall negative impact of the month of drunken chaos that comes with them. The ban is meant to discourage wild spring breakers in an effort to bring in other types of tourists, like families, who will spend more money and cause less damage. 

science drugs brewing You Can Now Brew Morphine With Specialized Yeast
Via: Uproxx
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Though when we say "you" we mean "scientists with the appropriate time and resources to devote to a very fragile and complicated process". Scientists from U.C. Berkeley, Concordia University in Montreal and University of Calgary have developed a fifteen step process using three different genetically modified yeasts to turn glucose into morphine. Eventually, it could be used to produce opiod drugs easier but at the moment it takes 53 gallons of the specialized yeast to create 30 mg of morphine. 

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