Said the guy who made this and no one else in the history of forever.
The toaster has three settings: light, dark, or Christmas tree stand.
If I had the choice to make one public service announcement, it would be warning people against microwaving leftover pizza. "Crispy Crust or Bust!" I'm still working on the slogan.
This is what you should do if you don't want to stand around holding down the toaster's broken toast lever. I mean really! I've got places to be! Like the fridge and the cupboard...
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