The last time I checked satellites were in the sky; I'm really hoping this whole thing just gets super-glued to the back of his Civic.
From the submitter:
So you have a ceiling fan in a room with a cathedral ceiling that needs a light bulb and no ladder available. Using a broom stick, an empty pill bottle, a hair scrunchy, a large chef's knife, and some duct tape you can build Bulb Changing Tool 5000. Simply cut a series 1-1/2" long slits lengthwise starting at the open end of the pill bottle to make a collapseable bulb holder. Wrap the hair scrunchy around the pill bottle to enable a nice grippy action. Punch a hole in the bottom of the pill bottle.