When Life Give You Lemons

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When Life Give You Lemons
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You squeeze every last drop out, because your mother told you not to waste. ~Not-So-Handy Andy

Core 2 Toaster

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Core 2 Toaster
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You know, you wouldn't want to get it hot or anything. ~NSHA

Please Don't Ask For Beans For Dinner

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Please Don't Ask For Beans For Dinner
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Unless you like them with a side of corn and punch to the mouth. ~NSHA

Say When!

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Say When!
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"What? I can't hear you over the drill!" I'll just keep going!"

~NSHA

No Wonder My Pizza Always Turned Out Wrong

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No Wonder My Pizza Always Turned Out Wrong
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I should have given the dough to the guy with the... meat grinder? clay flattener? at the laundromat!

~NSHA

Everything Works Better With a Chain

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Everything Works Better With a Chain
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From the submitter:

Cheap landlady wont fix broken stove. Front panel with handle falls off everytime you pull it open, so, I FIXED IT. Doesn't stay open by itself, slams shut without weight of front panel, so you have to stand in the loop to use both hands to remove pans. Zip-ties, old potholder, and a carabiner and dog chain from the bondage drawer. :D

Extra Starch, Please

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Extra Starch, Please
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Can't tell if desperate, or just brilliant.

~NSHA