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Before anyone comes to this mathematically challenged mouth-breather's defense, I want, no I need to be the first to say that I too grappled with the numbers game on a very, infuriatingly regular basis. Struggled hard, dude. Not this extreme, but enough to guarantee I'd carve something of a living wrestling the blank page with the written word instead of anything remotely inclusive of the numbers. So this dude has my sympathies, but let's revel in the glaring FAIL.

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For some reason, GQ magazine has declared that JNCOs are back as a way to tell us that men sometimes prefer wide-legged jeans. This hyperbole was somewhat lost on the internet, who proceeded to take them at face value and had a pretty good time at it.

Look, I’m not made of steel, I’ll enjoy a good JNCO roasting. But please, this isn’t an endorsement of JNCOs. If you are wearing JNCOs, remove them immediately because your friends are definitely making fun of you. This Twitter list took a PSA turn real quick.

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Yes, I'm well aware. We're dealing with a whole lotta weirdness let loose to run around. Where to start and where to end? We've got the ex-Disney Channel Star Ms. Bella Thorne element of this which is uncomfortable enough already, and then you factor in her need to not only tweet a dick pic, but claim it's not her ex-boyfriend's? Yo, this shitness screams seven kinds of emotionally trainrekt.

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Now if only we can get a clip of his Air-ness Michael Jordan screaming “I’m king of the world!”

@TitanicHoops is an ingenious twitter account that shows basketball highlights while playing the music from Titanic. It’s as simple of that.

However, one of the surprising things about it is that it makes basketball even better, if not more emotionally powerful. I mean, I once thought there’s nothing more emotional than a serious dunk, but then I watched it with “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion playing. I’m shook. I'm changed. I'm the king of the world. 

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All signs right now point to the fact that Jerry Jones would appear to be one of the rare people out there who stubbornly continues to hold out hope for Tony Romo. During his appearance on 105.3 The Fan on Tuesday he said the Cowboys haven't made a decision about Romo yet, but that he believes Romo is yet destined to be in a Super Bowl in the near future.

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Part of me right now is harboring the gut kind of instinct that the Donald had to have knowingly stirred the pot of chaos on this one. I mean dude, not only is this the wrong Ivanka, but she's evidently an outspoken environmentalist. See for yourself with the tweet she decided to respond back with after DJ Trump's original botched attempt to touch base with the wifey on Twitter:

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The first possibility and source of the confusion here is that this could be some sort of sexualized marketing stunt. Or what we have is a prime example of a young lady that managed to capitalize on the clear, hard fact her boyfriend appreciates her voluminous curvatures and wants/needs to cozy up to such pillowy goodness on a nightly basis. The broheme likes big-butted bedspreads and he cannot lie, us other readers can't deny...and yeah, that's all I got.

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