Someone Tried to Sell a Live Shark Outside of a Grocery Store in Florida

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An Amtrak Train Ran Into a Truck Carrying Tens of Thousands of Pounds of Bacon. A Moment of Silence, Please.

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The train was en route to Chicago from San Diego when it ran into a truck trying to cross the tracks. Luckily there were no serious injuries reported, but the real casualty was all this bacon. RIP bacon, we knew you well.

It Turns Out School Officials Don't Appreciate Stormtroopers Patrolling Outside Their Campuses

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Who would have thought a man in a mask holding a replica weapon wouldn't go over so well in a place with minors? Crazy!

Sometimes Hall and Oates Comes on and You Have to Dance on a Police Car, Because Vampires

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We really wish there was some part of that headline that wasn't representative of reality. The Florida man in the video here apparently encountered a "fanged woman" at his front door earlier in the day, and foretold of an upcoming human sacrifice. This didn't settle too well with our man, who apparently had to dance out all those feelings on top of a police car.

Hat tip to The Daily Dot.

The U.S. Military Accidentally Sent Live Anthrax Samples to Labs Nationally and Abroad. Oopsie-Poopsie?

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A team in Utah's Dugway Proving Ground sent what they thought were inactive samples to various other bases around the world for study before finding out they hadn't been properly irradiated before being sent off.

As NPR reports, the incident isn't as unlikely as you might think. The deadly substance is notoriously hardy and difficult to kill. With billions of potential spores to render inert via radiation, a 99.99% success rate isn't enough to keep samples from being potentially dangerous.

Luckily the threat has been contained and there's no risk to the general public, though surely someone's ass will be grass somewhere down the line...

Things Get REAL at the Bingo Hall When This Senior Goes Postal on Someone's Car

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Indicted FIFA Official Jack Warner Accidentally Falls for the Oldest Trick, Believes an Onion Article is Real

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Former FIFA Vice President Jack Warner was one of several officials indicted for corruption within the sporting organization. In a long, nearly incoherent rant, Warner tried to make the connection that the US is hypocritical for investigating FIFA while also desiring their own World Cup:



The only problem? That article he's holding is lifted directly from infamous satire site The Onion.