A 12-Year-Old Colorado Girl Was Arrested for Attempting to Poison Her Mother Over iPhone Privileges, Because #KidsTheseDays

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Allegedly the girl hatched a revenge plot to murder her mother after her iPhone was taken away. That sentence is a real event and not something we pulled from a psychology case study on sociopathy.

Boulder County police arrested the tween after her mother reported her for the second poisoning incident. The first, when the child poured bleach into her mother's smoothie, which mom was able to detect by smell (and here we thought it was the pricepoint of a Vitamix that would kill you ZING).

Then she tried the same stunt with a carafe of water that her mother kept in her bedroom. This is probably the ballsiest move in the entire story, because seriously who tries the same matricidal nonsense twice? That's just poor form, Olivia (in the story I am assuming the child's name is Olivia because they're all named Olivia, run with me here).

To conclude, anothercase of tween barbarism solved by the power of a mom who won't take any nonsnse... and maybe a little help from Mr. Yuck.

WTF of the Day: Shoplifter Escapes Through Ceiling at Walmart

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Walmart not only has falling prices, it’s also got strange men falling out of the ceiling.

A shoplifter was apprehended by security at a store in Mobile, Alabama last Wednesday after trying to walk away with a debit card, some shoes, a hat, a watch and some underwear.

They locked him up in the security office, but he mysteriously disappeared.

“He had climbed on a desk, jumped into the ceiling, then tried to escape,” said a witness named Brannan Lynn, who recorded the whole thing on his phone.

The suspect made his way to the entryway of the store where he then kicked he way through, dangling for a few minutes before hopping down to the ground.

He eventually ran into the parking lot and drove away in his car.

You can check out some more raw footage of the daring escape on LiveLeak.

Darth Vader Pulls Off a North Carolina Bank Robbery, Gets Drunk at a Hockey Game in One Week

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That's a man in a Darth Vader mask successfully getting away with a bank robbery in Pineville, NC last Monday. Luckily no one was injured in the event. Meanwhile, Star Wars Night at the AHL Manchester Monarchs game featured a Vader who was clearly none too experienced with walking on ice. 



Or maybe just failing to force choke members of the away team. Such is the mystery of the game.

Remember That Time a British Airways Flight Got Turned Around Because of a Terrible Deuce?

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None of that tweet is a joke. A British Airways flight was reportedly turned around and sent back home because a rank poo in the plane's bathroom was presenting a health hazzard - not to mention making other passenvers uncomfortable.