There Are 38 New Emoji Coming Next Year - but Still No Taco in Sight

Favorite
phone-news-new-emoji-2016
- -

The Unicode Consortium responsible for standardizing text characters and emoji across different platforms recently announced that they'll be unleashing a new batch of characters for 2016. You can see some of the highlights above from Yahoo, including the much-requested "selfie" and "bacon" emoji.

The elephant in the room, however, is the lack of a taco emoji. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPRESS TACO BELL REGRET, UNICODE CONSORTIUM? You expect me to use my words like an Actual Human Being? That's gosh-dang absurd and you know it.

If you're curious the emoji subcommittee (again a Real Thing and not something we just made up) has some explanations for their selections. Otherwise, here's a list of what's the come in 2016:

Face with cowboy hat
Clown face
Nauseated face
Rolling on the floor laughing
Drooling face
Lying face
“Call me” hand
Selfie
Raised back of hand
Left-facing fist
Right-facing fist
Handshake
Hand with first and index finger crossed
Pregnant woman
Face palm
Shrug
Man dancing
Prince
Man in tuxedo
Mother Christmas
Wilted flower
Scooter
Motor scooter
Octagonal sign
Clinking glasses
Black heart
Croissant
Avocado
Cucumber
Bacon
Potato
Carrot
Fox face
Eagle
Duck
Bat
Shark
Owl



Two Drunk Dudes Performed the Ultimate Bro Heist

Favorite
drunk golf news Two Drunk Dudes Performed the Ultimate Bro Heist
- -

Two drunken golf fans allegedly stole the pictured golf cart and drove it five miles down the road and onto local bar Selwyn Pub's patio according to sources from Total Frat Move. The source of the golf cart, Quail Hollow Country Club, is well known in Charlotte, NC for its party atmosphere during tournaments. A co-owner of the pub confirmed that, although they aren't sure how it got there, a Quail Hollow golf cart was indeed left on the patio of Selwyn Pub.  The drunk patrons/golf cart theives apparently abandoned the cart to be picked up by a country club representative the next morning and left the bar without being caught. 

A Colorado Man Used a Stuffed Owl Named "Solomon" as His Defense Attorney. It Was Not a Hoot.

Favorite
- -

I'm no legal expert, but something tells me this isn't exactly a great move for your case. From Arbroath:

Charles Abbott arrived at court in Aspen, Colorado, on Tuesday with a stuffed owl and placed it on the defence table in front of him. “He’s a very sensitive guy, has law degrees from Yale, Harvard and Stanford,” Abbott told Pitkin County Court Judge Erin Fernandez-Ely. “I think he’ll be able to represent me before a public defender comes online.” But the fluffy horned owl that Abbott called “Solomon,” had no influence on the hearing’s outcome. Fernandez-Ely casually ignored its presence when Abbott introduced it, and she moved along with the court’s business. Abbott’s court appearance was to address a protection order that took effect after he was accused of assaulting his former roommate, Michael Stranahan, at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting on May 9. Authorities again arrested Abbott, 67, on Saturday on suspicion of violating the court order by going to Stranahan’s home to collect some belongings.

A Mom May Have Just Placed the First Gay Dating Ad in India for her Son

Favorite
parenting dating lgbtq A Mom may have Just Placed the First Gay Dating Ad in India for her Son
- -

A mother in India recently placed a matrimonial ad in the paper for her adult, gay son. It might seem like it would only be a little embarrassing for 36 year old activist Harish Iyer to have his mom get involved in his love life but it's actually groundbreaking. It is thought to be the first same-sex dating ad placed in an Indian newspaper. In fact many papers refused to publish it.

Iyer told the Times of India that they've gotten a few responses so far but he plans on taking his time to decide on the right man. 

See more at WIN!

Something Tells Me This Bearded Robber Wearing a Woman's Dress Didn't Think of His Disguise Very Much

Favorite
- -

This guy is still at large in Detroit, so if you happen to see that suspicious bearded not-lady, call the authorities!

A Man in China Gets Caught Eating You-Know-What From the Women's Restroom

Favorite
funny-news-fail-china-bathroom-gross
- -

The man has reportedly gone into the women's room of a shopping center several times early in the morning to eat that butt stuff. Now, he's finally been caught by a news team. When asked about his behavior, he had this to say (courtesy of a translated interview from Shanghaiist):

Reporter: What’re you doing here?
Man: Eating s**t.
R: What? What’s in your hands?
M: It’s s**t.
R: Why would you want to do that?
M: I eat it when I’m hungry.
R: But why do you choose to go to the ladies’ room?
M: It’s more tasty.

Reporter: Isn’t your family worried about you?
Man: They’re all dead.
R: Don’t you know this behavior isn’t good or healthy?
M: I’ve eaten s**t for eight years. I feel better after eating it.

False Alarm of the Day: Someone Called 911 After Seeing Car With Stuffed Tiger on Roof

Favorite
funny-news-fail-tiger-false-alarm
- -

A man named Connor Zuvich found a discarded, stuffed tiger on the side of the road in Washington, so he did what anyone would do and strapped it to the roof of his car.

“The thing looked really realistic,” Zuvich told The Columbian. “We were just cruising around Lacamas Lake with it.”

He and his friends drove around for a while with their new trophy when a cop pulled them over.

The officer, Henry Scott, said the police were contacted by a concerned citizen who reported a live Bengal tiger on the loose.

When he noticed it was just a stuffed animal he snapped some quick photos of the beast “to send to all his buddies,” according to Zuvich.

The cat reportedly remains on top of his car and thinks the view is just “grrrrrrreat!”