Alternatively, stick to low-light environments.
Shirt, why you gotta be such a shirt?
On second thought, how about hats? Do you like hats? I LOVE hats.
I mean like, so excited that you could barely contain yourself? Like, you're just overflowing with feelings of anticipation? Like you can barely hold yourself in? Yeah, it's a pretty great feeling.
I mean, the least you could do is match the underwear with the bag, sheesh.
"And that was the day I retired that shirt."
Not pictured: "Hott Stuffz," "Melts In Your Mouth," "Moped," "Toot it and Boot It," and "Ohio State Rodeo Champion 1998."
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