On the other hand, your gender reassignment therapy appears to be going great!

Remember people: The answer is always another slice of pizza.

FIRST LESSON IN BASIC TRAINING: DON'T MIX BLEACH WITH YOUR MIXED-LOAD LAUNDRY, SOLDIER. THAT'S A RECIPE FOR A MAJOR FASHION INFRACTION

Shirt, why you gotta be such a shirt?

Don't worry, you can take that bracelet back eventually!

Or at least, why I stopped shaving at the all-beige outlet mall.

Get ready to start Summer FAIL School right here!