Your Pants Can Never Be Too High

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Don't worry, he'll grow into them.

Have You Ever Been REALLY Excited For a Sale?

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I mean like, so excited that you could barely contain yourself? Like, you're just overflowing with feelings of anticipation? Like you can barely hold yourself in? Yeah, it's a pretty great feeling.

Your Pants Don't Need You Anymore

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Patriotic Pants

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Hey Babe, There's a Sauna in My Pants Tonight. Wanna Get Steamy?

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Is it hot in those pants, or is it just your ass?

Dat Squeegee

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I mean seriously, your technique is terrible. That window is never getting clean that way.

Best of Both Worlds?

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You can now do squats in your jeans!