The other side reads "But keep it under your hat."
...he looks like an aged real-life version of Charlie Brown and it's gnawing away at my soul...
Which one is he? Is he the guy who scares paparazzi away by flashing them with his jean skirt?
Oh, the things you can make your parents do...
Also, is that a picture of George H.W. Bush on the table? I'm reading his lips, and it looks like they're saying "No more Animaxes."
Yes, folks: this is a win.