(My friend and I were visiting her granddad (who I haven't met before). Other guests include my friend's aunt and her two year old daughter. We are just discussing about how long kids should keep their pacifiers.)
Granddad: In a few years she'll suck on something completely different.
Granddad: What, I meant her thumb!
12-Year-Old Brother: (Playing Mario Kart Wii with me) Come in behind me and I'll shoot you a mushshroom.
Dad: Anal prostitution for drugs is not allowed in this household!
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