(We are Jewish. For those of you who don't know, it's a Christmas tradition for Jews to eat Chinese food and see a movie on Christmas, since there's nothing else to do. It's currently a week before Christmas, and we don't know what to eat.)
Dad: Maybe we should do Chinese tonight instead of for Christmas.
Mom: Honey, DON'T ruin my Christmas!
Me (7 Year old): Mom, what if aliens landed in the back yard, ate all our food, and left?
Dad: Sounds like our relatives.
Mom: (Glares at dad)
A few quick edits, and a timeless 90s kid movie classic becomes... Well, a lot more harrowing.
(After a family party. Aunt and Uncle are getting ready to leave and are picking up left overs.)
Uncle: Hey, Sher, we gonna take this fruit home?
Gay uncle: Uh, I'm standing right here!
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