Dad: Don't go into the dark, the Boogie Man will get you.
Me: You're the Boogie man, and the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny
Dad: Don't talk about my sex life.
(After a family party. Aunt and Uncle are getting ready to leave and are picking up left overs.)
Uncle: Hey, Sher, we gonna take this fruit home?
Gay uncle: Uh, I'm standing right here!
Me (7 Year old): Mom, what if aliens landed in the back yard, ate all our food, and left?
Dad: Sounds like our relatives.
Mom: (Glares at dad)
(After my 4-year-old got in trouble she came up to her father.)
4yr old: Am I on the naughty list?
Father: With the way you've been acting, you probably are.
4yr old: *Thinks for a moment* Not if I kill Santa.
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