Little Sister: Dad, you're putting butter in a cup! Who does that?!
Me: Cool people. And dad.
Dad: Just when I thought you were smart, you had to say something like that to prove how unsmart you is!
Me: I'm not the one who said "unsmart."
(Going to visit my grandma, my little sister just walks in her house)
Me:(to my sister) Hey, learn to knock. What if grandma isn't dressed or has company?
Grandma: Yeah! What if I have company and we're naked?!
I know that feel, Ralph. I know that feel.
(I just met my new step-brother 2 hours ago at my dad's house. We're both mid 20's adults. Dad and step-mom leaving to go to the store.)
Dad: Okay, we're leaving now.
Me: Alright, see you in a bit.
Dad: (Looks at me and step-brother) No having sex with each other.
Me: Oh my God, dad! Go!
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