(After fetching Gramma's mail):
Me: You got another funeral home ad.
Gramma: Again? I got 3 yesterday! Soon they'll be sending a loaded rifle and asking me to f***ing shoot myself!
(My grandma came over to use the computer and I had just cut and dyed my hair)
Me: Hey grandma! How are you?
Grandma:(looks at my with a weird expression) You look fat. Why do you do this to yourself?
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