(My grandma came over to use the computer and I had just cut and dyed my hair)
Me: Hey grandma! How are you?
Grandma:(looks at my with a weird expression) You look fat. Why do you do this to yourself?
(When I was younger, walking down the street and we passed a group of guys when one spits on the floor)
Grandmother: You gonna pick that up punk?
Grandmother: Yeah, I'm gonna stay here untill you clean it up!
Guy: How do you want me to do that?
Grandmother: LICK IT UP OR SOMETHING!
(Grandma keeps staring at him until the guy cleans it off of the street.)
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