Do you, too, have timeline? You needn't be ashamed. Just talk to Real People™. They can help.
How many shares from Facebook's new IPO did Zuckerberg give her for this? The new music video for Katy Perry's single "Wide Awake" looks back on the singer's career through Facebook Timeline. What's weird, though, is that they start after Perry released "I Kissed a Girl." Are you ashamed of that song already, Katy Perry? DON'T FORGET WHAT MADE YOU FAMOUS.
Facebook's on the stock market now! Even as we speak, total strangers are buying and selling the space where you leave passive-aggressive notes and quasi-inspirational quotations for all your so-called friends to see. And how are people celebrating this auspicious day? If you're part of this group of people who allegedly have never seen each other face-to-face but still consider each other friends thanks to the false nostalgia-building that is Facebook, you make a video that tries so hard to be "uplifting" and "inspirational" it's basically a Christian Rock song with the word "Facebook" substituted for "God." Welcome to 2012.