"Everything" Would Also Qualify

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"Everything" Would Also Qualify
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I think it's safe to say that the toilet paper has a leg up on "ability to emote" over Kristen Stewart too.

My Love Is a Sweet, Sweet Turd Blossom

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My Love Is a Sweet, Sweet Turd Blossom
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"No," she replied with a smile. "I peed." Then they got married and lived happily ever after, until one day when he walked in to find her pooping instead of peeing. There was a messy divorce and an embittering, soul-deadening custody battle. The end.

We Don't Even Have a Unicorn Stable

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We Don't Even Have a Unicorn Stable
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That's what you get for drooling over the covers in the romance section of your local bookstore.