Choking Hazard

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Choking Hazard
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What I'm saying is that you have a small penis.

'Tis the Season for Massive Mood Swings

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'Tis the Season for Massive Mood Swings
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Either her mood turned on a dime, or she was too filled with rage to remember to update her mass texting list.

How to Resolve Connectivity Issues With Your iPhone

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How to Resolve Connectivity Issues With Your iPhone
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In the old days, we tried to get our computers to work again by smacking the monitor or the hard drive. Now that we're developing technology that we can talk to, we don't have to get it to work by physically abusing it; we can verbally abuse it instead.

Autocowrecks: Runs in the Family

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Autocowrecks: Runs in the Family
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It took the better part of a month, but everything's finally censored. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, CREEPY PEDOSTACHE WHEAT-THINS MANVERTISER.

What I'm Saying Is That I'd Rather Not Kiss You

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What I'm Saying Is That I'd Rather Not Kiss You
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And "you're mean" begins with "y," as in "Y R U SO MEANNNNN OMG"