What I'm saying is that you should consider either increasing your metabolic rate or lowering your caloric intake - ideally you should combine the two - in the interests of your health. #antijokechicken

From the submitter:

This is what happens when your friend doesn't tell you he changed his number...

What I'm saying is that you have a small penis.

The most hurtful grammar nazi attacks are the ones that skillfully combine lessons in possessive pronouns with an unsympathetic performance review of one's genitalia.

Although if she's going to give a lesson on grammar, she'd better make sure she's using the correct verb form of the first-person plural ("so we don't sound like an uneducated dumb fck").

From the submitter:

Bane of my existence constantly coming to my door because she is allergic to music.

Sadly, your relationship with your neighbor has just been taken to a whole different level of awkward.