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Let's just go ahead and call this what it is: a bunch of porn stars/scantily-clothed, busty women recycling age old sentiments of common sense; but still keeping us entertained, because like you know...hot chicks and boobs and stuff, man. 

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Never before have I so badly wished a prank wasn't a prank. Content warning: this video contains a lot of moaning sounds. If you're at work, you may want to make sure your headphones are plugged in.

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Pornhub's Christmas Stats are a Fascinating Look Into Festive Faps

Pornhub released their traffic and search data for last week's ho-ho holiday, and it reveals some interesting stats about how the good people of the world stuff their own stockings and jingle their bells.

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14 Surprisingly Fascinating Facts Behind 2016's Porn Traffic Stats

The data compiled, then featured by the most popular porn site out there ends up showing some shocking results about humanity's porn consumption!

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Madeline Madison is suing a porn studio after giving her brother a blowjob
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We're not sure how many OSHA laws this violates.

When Madeline Madison showed up to shoot Milk Maids 2 (the first one must have been a real success to spin off a sequel), she was confused why she wouldn't meet the man on whom she would perform fellatio. You know, for the fans out there.

In an interview covered inElite Daily Madison said:

The producers wouldn't let me meet the man I was sucking off beforehand, which I found odd, because normally we always meet and greet our scene partner. I like to make an emotional connection with my fellow actor before a scene. I even try to quickly fall in love with them, if I can, as it makes my job so much easier for me if I'm truly in love with the man I'm about ready to f*ck.



Seems like a tricky situation and one, in any other workplace, that would be a deal breaker.

But in the fast-paced, high-powered world of adult film, you commit to your sexual encounters.

Unfortunately, and allegedly unbeknownst to Madison, the fellatio scene was a glory hole romp that featured her little brother Chuck Tang on the other side of the wall.

When Madison found out, she said she was devastated and is suing the film company for $3.2 million.

The director, Jameel Mendoza, took this whole thing down to an even grosser level, by insisting Madison relates and incorrect version of the events.

She's a liar. [She] will do anything for money. We normally would have paid a third-rate talent like her $25 for a single glory hole scene, but we agreed to $100 because it was with her brother. Let's not forget this is the same girl who allowed herself to be penetrated by the head of a dead Anaconda in Snake Hole. She has no moral standards.



Yuck.

If you're looking for someone to blame for this buffet of sin, Madison hints that you should point your finger at Japan.

The company doesn't show real inc*st with past titles, but with me and my little brother being known, they've now caught real inc*st on camera which will make them billions in Japan. The Japanese love inc*st.



Who would have thought the adult film industry was so full of unsavory characters?

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Pandora's Box Opened When Women Who Watch Porn Talk About Which Titles They Search For the Most

Brace yourself gentle-ladies and gentlemen, because we are about to dive deep down the ever complex and mighty confusing rabbit's hole that is the female's brain. And in this case we're covering the biggest behemoth of 'em all: sex. For the sake of full disclosure here, I was genuinely aghast at some of these dark 'n depraved guilty pleasures; but at the same time, ultimately, to each her own. Right?

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Pornhub Shares Valentine's Day Traffic Insights and Offers Premium Access for Free

Well, that seals the deal: we're all getting lucky in one way or another tonight, am I right? The results themselves here are about on par with what you'd expect for the notorious, romantically-inclined, ever-commercialized holiday. People near and far definitely have the hard hearts on for the knee-buckling kind of orgasm that's artificially love-induced. 

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