Based on our estimates, we have you arriving at work at about... oh... 10:30 AM.
... on Thanksgiving Day...
"The amount of time you will spend in traffic is directly related to the urgency of getting to your destination."
"There's a space shuttle blocking the highway."
"Johnson, you must really think I'm stupid, don't you?"
It's going to be a good day, I just know it!
It's a literal traffic jam!
"I'm gonna be late, jackass!"