Another reason to leave work early.

"Don't drink the water (There's a dead spider in it)."

had to put up this sign when I found a dead spider floating in the water cooler. The bad part is I noticed it AFTER I had two cups.

Wait, they know when it was born? It's been harrying their existence for three months? Tenacious bugger. To paraphrase Ernest Hemingway:

Spider, I love you and respect you very much. But I will kill you dead before this day ends.