So, Mr. Wizard, I Can't Help But Ask...

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Do you, like, have any seminars I could attend or anything like that? Y'know, maybe where you share some of your wizarding secrets tips for success?

You Need a Degree to Run Those Toasters, Don't Laugh!

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From the Reddit submitter:

I set up continental breakfast in a hotel where guests constantly set croissants on fire in the toaster... My boss put this up in our kitchen after I suggested we have a class on how to use a toaster (I'm Brendan).

Finally, a Seminar That's Worthwhile

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To borrow from another quote: "Oh, you have trouble handling negativity, bad attitudes, and toxic people in the workplace? There's a seminar for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

The Crystal Ethod

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Ethod Man, perhaps?

Art Degree Not Useless After All

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